We received another missive from my old compadre, Washoe Willie this week, about a week late, but then, that’s Willie’s way. Once again, this fine hard rock miner is over the top.
When I was editor of The Nevada Observer, Willie was a regular. In fact, this piece was one of the first we carried, several many years ago. Hope you enjoy, read good books, and, as always, stay regular.
Single Men, Run
For Your Lives!
Women Roaming Silver
State In Large Packs
by Washoe Willie
Herds of single women, ruby red lips puckered as never before, have been seen in the sands of Primm, in the mountains of White Pine, along the banks of the Truckee River, zeroing in on unsuspecting single men, claiming their prizes, offing anyone standing in their way. Police agencies are hard pressed because of a law dating back to 1288 in Scotland, and now part of our common law. It’s Leap Day, a horrible happening for single males, that intrudes itself on our lives every four years.
Daniel Morose was captured when three lovely damsels with evil in their hearts surrounded him while he was attempting to use an ATM along the Fremont Experience. “Howls of glee, grasping tapered fingernails, eyes filled with want, or maybe wont, was what I remember most,” he said as he stood, head down, eyes filled with tears, his face gaunt and drawn, chained to a fence. “They left me here to continue the hunt. All three intend to claim their man before the 29th.”
In 1288 in the highlands of Scotland, some nasty old men, white wigs filled with powder and dust, decided to get even with the single men of the time. Their purpose, they said was to spread the pain since they were all married, it should be that all men should be married. A female citizen had come before these members of parliament bringing with them a tale from Celtic history, and what good Scottish MP would deny Celtic history?
These less than fair maidens told about St. Bridget, who in Celtic times had simply been Bridget, and how she had visited St. Patrick, that Roman scoundrel who allegedly chased all the snakes from Ireland, and cried out their plight. Women, you see, were not allowed to propose marriage; that was left to the male of the species alone. St. Patrick listened as the triumvirate told how they so much wanted the opportunity to propose as well, they yearned for husbands, and the wealth that came with husbands, and “well, Patti me lad, it’s only fair that we should have this opportunity.”
Remembering that February had that extra day once in every four years, the soon to be saint told the babbling hoard, “sure, girls, you can propose to a man on February 29.” It took from ancient times to 1288 for it to become an actual law because after listening to these women, the Scot MPs made it so. As part of English common law, it traveled to America and is now part of our common law. If you are being chased by a wanton woman, one who is determined that you will be her husband, don’t call the cops as they are helpless to intercede. It’s the law of the land.
Back in 1937, the brilliant cartoonist, Al Capp created a “marrying holiday” of his own in the comic strip Li’l Abner. It was in November of 1937 when he created Sadie Hawkins Day and the women of Okeefenokie Swamp chased down their game every November after that. Many confuse Leap Day with Sadie Hawkins Day, but the difference is simply this: On Leap Day, the women are within their legal rights. Oh, my.
(Addendum) --- Will February never end? Ground Hog Day, Valentines Day, Washington’s and Lincoln’s Birthdays, Leap Day … it boggles the boggled.